And another thing...

I should preface this by saying that Mother's Day is a day that should be celebrated. All mothers should be honoured and appreciated at least one day of the year. ;) It is my belief that mothers should be celebrated EVERY day, but I digress...

However, Mother's Day by its very existence makes the infertile woman feel like she sticks out like a sore thumb. A misfit. Alienated and alone.

And while these feelings of alienation are certainly more acute on Mother's Day, I have felt much of the same in my daily life since I was deemed infertile. Sure, I may not feel them all at once on a daily basis, but I do feel them in the way my friendships have changed. I feel closed off. Left out. Because I am unable to conceive, I am to be pitied. I feel that many of my friends don't know what to do with me. They don't know what to say, so they say nothing at all. My phone doesn't ring as often as it used to. My e-mail inbox is empty.

I must admit that I haven't been too forthcoming with my pregnant friends either. These have been dark days. How do I relate to them when they are now experiencing what I have longed for, for years? How can I truly be open about my struggle - no holds barred - when all they want to do is scream from the rooftops about the wonders of pregnancy? My friends want to share their pregnancy experience with me, I'm sure. But I guess there is line drawn between them and me. I don't know how it got there, but it's there and we have learned to live with it.

Sad, that.

C.