Sticks and stones
So Election Day has come and gone. We have a new Mayor in our fine city. It isn't who I voted for, but it's who I would've voted for if I wasn't voting strategically (which I did). Make sense? The candidate I liked the least came in third, which was surprising, but also a huge relief. I have new faith in democracy. It seems that Edmontonians can see through blatant self-interest after all...
Emotionally, I'm hanging in there. We have one more cycle before the big appointment. I'm on the fence as to whether we should bother trying this month, but my husband the optimist would like to. We'll see.
I post occasionally on a public bulletin board for marrieds, women trying to conceive, women who are pregnant, and mothers. This one board is broken into sections. Needless to say, I pretty much keep to the Trying to Conceive (TTC) section. It's a place where the 'Fertile Myrtles' and 'Smugly Pregnants' should tread lightly, but often don't. What I mean by that is, the TTC section is a place where sensitivity should be foremost in one's mind when they are posting in that section. Sometimes women who 'graduate' (i.e. finally get their Big Fat Positive) post their announcements right in that section, other than in 'Breaking News' which, in my opinion, is where those announcements should be. But I digress. One day a month or so back, someone posted their BFP announcement in the TTC section. I happened to read it, and noticed that someone (who had struggled with infertility herself and who had recently become pregnant) posted a reply to the announcement that rubbed me the wrong way. Something along the lines of "Wow, we have a lot of graduates!" Now, on that particular day, I didn't need to read in the TTC section that everyone was graduating but me. So I privately messaged this individual and politely told her that her post struck a nerve with me, that she of all people should surely understand what it feels like to be in my shoes, and that to be reminded that I am not one of these graduates hit hard. Her response to me, to say the very least, was insensitive, callous and downright hurtful. Anyway, I wished her well and decided to move on. Since then, my visits to that board have been infrequent. Yesterday, I decided to check in and see how some of the girls were doing with their fertility treatments, etc. Someone posted wanting to know about coping strategies on bad days. I posted the following:
While this board is a great place to get advice and support, it's also a place where I find my despair can get the better of me (reading the birth stories and seeing all the belly pics and baby photos can be overwhelming, to say the least). My advice is if you ever need to take a break from the board, do it! Finding new hope and a fresh perspective are everything when you're trying to conceive.
No more than two hours later, this woman (and I use the term very loosely) posted some belly pics. Coincidence? I think not. I believe she has been reading my posts since our exchange and decided to twist the knife a little bit. While I doubt very much that she knows I have a blog, I would like to take this opportunity to say that nothing she can do can hurt me. Sticks and stones, as they say. It disappoints me that some women conveniently forget what it's like to have walked the path of infertility the moment a baby is growing in their belly. It disappoints me when instead of reaching out to offer support, this miserable excuse for a human being would rather try to inflict pain on someone who is vulnerable. Well, it didn't work. I am stronger than that and I know that God has a plan for me. This other woman, I'm not so sure about...
C.
Emotionally, I'm hanging in there. We have one more cycle before the big appointment. I'm on the fence as to whether we should bother trying this month, but my husband the optimist would like to. We'll see.
I post occasionally on a public bulletin board for marrieds, women trying to conceive, women who are pregnant, and mothers. This one board is broken into sections. Needless to say, I pretty much keep to the Trying to Conceive (TTC) section. It's a place where the 'Fertile Myrtles' and 'Smugly Pregnants' should tread lightly, but often don't. What I mean by that is, the TTC section is a place where sensitivity should be foremost in one's mind when they are posting in that section. Sometimes women who 'graduate' (i.e. finally get their Big Fat Positive) post their announcements right in that section, other than in 'Breaking News' which, in my opinion, is where those announcements should be. But I digress. One day a month or so back, someone posted their BFP announcement in the TTC section. I happened to read it, and noticed that someone (who had struggled with infertility herself and who had recently become pregnant) posted a reply to the announcement that rubbed me the wrong way. Something along the lines of "Wow, we have a lot of graduates!" Now, on that particular day, I didn't need to read in the TTC section that everyone was graduating but me. So I privately messaged this individual and politely told her that her post struck a nerve with me, that she of all people should surely understand what it feels like to be in my shoes, and that to be reminded that I am not one of these graduates hit hard. Her response to me, to say the very least, was insensitive, callous and downright hurtful. Anyway, I wished her well and decided to move on. Since then, my visits to that board have been infrequent. Yesterday, I decided to check in and see how some of the girls were doing with their fertility treatments, etc. Someone posted wanting to know about coping strategies on bad days. I posted the following:
While this board is a great place to get advice and support, it's also a place where I find my despair can get the better of me (reading the birth stories and seeing all the belly pics and baby photos can be overwhelming, to say the least). My advice is if you ever need to take a break from the board, do it! Finding new hope and a fresh perspective are everything when you're trying to conceive.
No more than two hours later, this woman (and I use the term very loosely) posted some belly pics. Coincidence? I think not. I believe she has been reading my posts since our exchange and decided to twist the knife a little bit. While I doubt very much that she knows I have a blog, I would like to take this opportunity to say that nothing she can do can hurt me. Sticks and stones, as they say. It disappoints me that some women conveniently forget what it's like to have walked the path of infertility the moment a baby is growing in their belly. It disappoints me when instead of reaching out to offer support, this miserable excuse for a human being would rather try to inflict pain on someone who is vulnerable. Well, it didn't work. I am stronger than that and I know that God has a plan for me. This other woman, I'm not so sure about...
C.
posted by Colette at 11:11 a.m.
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